WTF... What the French!? part deux

WTF #4

I'm all for trying to keep it real with kids and not letting them learn with blinkers on, but we're skating on thin ice here in the 2-4 year old bracket, don't you think?

The French are a very no-nonsense bunch. Yes, we know cars crash and people die and that babies don't get delivered by a stalk, but do kids really need that?! E prefers to think of it as "car upside down".

And these French equivalent of Lego ... kid in a wheelchair and a birthing unit?! WTF!

Cool your jets, France.


WTF #5

Sausage, snausage, saucisson, salmonella sleigh, whatever you chose to call them there are plenty to be enjoyed through France, flavoured with everything from figs to olives, or hazelnut, garlic or mushroom. And apparently one from the man himself at 24€50 / kg!

You can BYO sausage to a bar, ask to try-before-you-buy from both the market vendor or the supermarket and you can travel cross-country with them too as we tried some lovely sausage from Corsica in our local Bistrot.

We were surprised i guess you'd say when we ordered the kids menu at a restaurant to see E served up a plate of sliced sausage. To his credit, he ate it all!

WTF #6

Frenchies consume the highest amount of butter per capita in the world, a smidge more than 8kg per person, per year.

So imagine the news breaking of a "Butter Crisis", it was front page. Bakers threatened croissant price rises, chefs contemplated using margarine, cafe's gave you one not two portions with your slice of baguette. Hardly enough.

It was reported as the "worst since the end of WWII". And we lived through it. Phew!
This was the horrific scene at out local Super U.

Some blamed the supermarket giants, some blamed the farmers, others blamed the EU and their dairy pricing policies, most fingers pointed at China and the Middle East for their increase in demand on French Pastries.

I think i'll just blame Trump.



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We've run out of time and perhaps photos for further WTFs, however, honourable mentions go to;

- Chicken breasts cooked medium rare.

- Frenchies wearing t-shirts with poorly translated English on them, such as "Paris beach", "Message in bottle", "Safer in the shade" and my favourite, "Surprise, I'm drunk!".

- The overrepresenation of cargo shorts in the summer.



Scott. 

The truth about travelling with a toddler

I’m not going to sugar coat it. If you’re planning a trip with a toddler, let me give you a piece of advice. 

Don’t. 

Ok, maybe that was harsh. Do, but do with warning. 

Today, with only two weeks till we fly home, we have hit a wall. I sit here on a flight from Copenhagen to Amsterdam, knowing we then have to transfer to another flight to Lyon, then drive for four hours to Colmar, and I feel done.

From the moment we got out of the taxi at the airport, the drama started. It escalated while we were loading our mountains of hand luggage onto the security check and it peaked when Elliot saw his iPad go up onto the belt and I wouldn’t let him have it. But boy, did he let me have it. 

The tantrum that unfolded as we tried (8 times) to get through the metal detector was abominable. Wailing, spluttering, throwing himself on the floor. All while hundreds of people stood glaring at us, held up from moving because of one little human. As Scott tried to negotiate with the little terrorist, I felt the evil glares and judgmental remarks from strangers and it undid me, tears welled up and I dragged him kicking and screaming along the floor to a quiet corner to sit and wait for him to calm, knowing he had already forgotten what it was that even upset him to begin with. The security guys patted Scott on the back and said sarcastically “enjoy your holiday!”. Yeah, thanks .... and with 10 minutes till boarding closed and a good 15 minute walk to the furthest gate in the airport, we ran, ran our little legs off and plonked ourselves into our seats; sweating and out of breath, saying to each other in unison “I’m done”. 

I recently read an article about traveling with toddlers, and by the end of the article those feel good lines about sharing wonderful experiences as a family really resonated with me. It said "the hardest bit about it is also the best bit about it: being with each other constantly with no breaks!" and that definitely rings true. 

For the most part, E has been an exceptional traveller. We have shared amazing family time and experiences most families will never get. But I write this because these last few weeks have been hard. And I want Elliot to one day look back on this blog and read this and maybe give us that pat on the back we deserve. Or shout us to a fancy dinner or something!

But in all seriousness, here are some tips if you plan on embarking on a nine month adventure across with globe with a two year old .... 

1. Never underestimate the time it takes to get trough the airport. We literally run on to every flight vowing to give ourselves more time, next time. There’s always a nappy change, a stop to buy a snack, a toy that must be bought, a play on the luggage trolley, something. Anything.  

2. Packing light no longer applies. Be prepared to wait for a minivan taxi and always pay for extra luggage, you’ll need it.

3. Hold off on giving kids iPads for as long as possible. I love them and I loathe them. We have used them to our advantage on long drives and dinners in nice restaurants, but now he is obsessed with it and it’s sent him crazy. When we get home, it goes in the bin.

4. Drink. Lots. It’s the only way to calm your nerves. And 10am in Europe is a completely acceptable hour for a beer. 

We see the world through social media. Staged Instagram photos of gorgeous mums toting adorable kids across the globe. There is no mess, no sleep deprivation, no tantrums or fighting with their husbands! I too love a well styled snap of a cocktail by the pool, and for the most part, we are living it up. But parenting is hard work, and it’s no easier on the other side of the world. 

While carrying E through Amsterdam airport in transit, in his nap-deprived mumble he told me he loved me. And all was forgiven ... but not forgotten.

A xx

Ps. Any tips for diffusing tantrums?? Especially those ones in public?? 

Copenhagen. A better choice than Tel Aviv

It feels wrong to say we were getting a bit bored in France, but the cold and wet weather in the Dordogne, coupled with the winter closures, convinced us to get online and find a somewhere close, hot, with nice beaches and a bit of culture. Tel Aviv was the standout until we decided to finally catch up on current affairs and realised that was probably not our wisest move in the current political climate. Thanks Trump! So let's just forget the warm weather and go to Copenhagen instead.... it made perfect sense over a few glasses of wine.

Copenhagen would have to be the most expensive city we have travelled to, $10 for a takeaway hot chocolate and $20 for a sandwich. It was definitely the coldest - most days were around 0 degrees. But it's always been on my bucket list, and it did not disappoint. It's one of those places I could see myself going back to time and again.

Nyhaven, with its colourful houses and wooden boats is probably the most recognisable spot in Copenhagen, picture perfect and famous for Hans Christian Anderson's abode, and the port of call for our canal cruise which was a great way to see the city from the water and myriad of canals ... and stay out of the cold.

Elliot loved the Zoo with it's fabulous 'Arctic Circle' housing polar bears, puffins, wolves, reindeer and all manor of cold weather creatures.

I loved the shopping (albeit rather expensive), especially Illums Bolighus department store, with floors and floors of all things Danish, from clothing to homewares and everything in between.

The Danes sure know a thing or two about design, and we loved the Design Museum of Denmark and their chair exhibition ... "Show me your chair and i'll tell you who you are". A fabulous display of the icons of danish furniture design. I'll have one of each please!

Even with Mary and Fred visiting Australia at the moment, we still thought it only polite to take a stroll past their place. Amalienborg Palace, with its four identical buildings house different members of the Royal family and unlike Buckingham Palace, there is no fence, you can walk right up the buildings.... no touching though!

And in the evening, a visit to Tivoli Gardens, one of the oldest amusement parks in the world (built around 1840) was a winter wonderland. Snow covered trees, ice sculptures, gardens and pergolas dressed for Christmas, the smell of roasting chestnuts and mulled wine and old fashioned rides and amusement games. Christmas heaven right there.

We bypassed NOMA and the 60,000 person wait list and indulged in the local eateries. The scandi cuisine was awesome after eating so much heavy French fare and we enjoyed plenty of open-faced smørrebrød sandwiches (delicious!), seafood, lots of salads and amazing steaks. The beer wasn't too bad either!

So with empty wallets and frostbitten fingers, we bid farewell to one of our new favourite cities and hope to return again one day.

A xx

That time we flew First Class

Being the savvy (and I use that term loosely) credit card hoarders that we are, it only took a few years for us to amass 1,000,000 frequent flyer points. We had been seduced by collecting points years earlier and the notion of long haul economy flights with a toddler was no notion at all.

Some simple math for this trip showed that we had enough points to fly Business Class, and juuuuust enough to snag one leg in First Class... something we would never ever pay for. Maybe never, who knows. You can never be sure. Never say never. Maybe we would.

Sydney to Dubai, First Class, with Emirates. Wow.

The adventure starts with the chauffeur pick up from home on the day of departure, a quick check-in, almost too quick, it would have been nicer to have been seen by more people really. And straight to the Qantas First Class lounge.

A few champagnes to settle the nerves and some dinner off the menu, and wait for the boarding call ... sadly the First Class Day Spa was closed at that time of night - first world problem, I suppose.

On board, it is as impressive as you'd expect. The seat is actually a "suite" meaning there are floor to ceiling doors that close off your personal space from the rest of the cabin (you know those other 13 passengers up front) and it is huge!

Of course, then comes the round of French champagne and nibblies while we wait for the folk up the back to get into their seats, and then the goody bags arrive - full size tote bags, stocked with swanky pyjamas (still wearing them!), slippers, Bulgari toiletries and perfume.

The iPad that pops up from the arm rest isn't actually the TV screen, that's just the remote control for all the gadgets. The TV is bigger than my one at home. There's the personal mini-bar, the makeup table complete with little lights and even a writing desk - who doesn't want to pen a few letters on their flight!

Elliot had his own suite. That's right, our little 2 year old had an entire first class suite, with a fully flat bed bigger than his cot. Sadly, mini-bars were played with then emptied, buttons pressed, TVs switched off and doors left open as 14 hours with a 2 year old sort of suppresses the experience a little. 

First task, get Elliot off to sleep, then enjoy a few of the finer things ... Dom Perignon and caviar were the highlights from a ridiculously good menu and wine list.

Let's be honest here, no-one was getting a good night's sleep, but at least we had a million things to play with during those middle of the night wake ups ... only 14 hours of my life! And look at the space ... it's ridiculous really. We could have all fitted in one of these suites, I would have happily slept on the floor, it was that spacious! 

But wait. There's more. There is a Shower Spa! A very fabulous hot shower at 30,000 feet. Would you believe they have two fully dedicated "shower attendants" who will book you in for a shower time slot before landing, and during the flight they actually clean the rooms after every single use. For the germaphobe in me, this is worth my million points. They are huge and stocked full of fluffy towels, and luxury toiletries. You're limited to five minutes of water, but it is heaven! 

If you too collect points and wonder if your points are better spent on electrical appliances the answer is NO. I mean, we could have walked away with 8 two-slice De'Longhi toasters if we wanted... but it feels as though the right decision was made.

A xx